Lady, you are MEANT to be sacred and feel sacred …. to experience joy and pleasure … physically, emotionally, spiritually, as a form of expression, as a form of creation, as a way of BEING in the world.  

Women who are in touch with their sacred feminine are the women who walk around TURNED ON BY LIFE.  Women who are in touch with their sexuality, with their sensuality, with their spirituality, with their desires all from a sacred standpoint, are turned on and therefore, tuned into a higher frequency of possibilities.  

So, I've been talking to my higher self a lot lately about spiritual truth and this deep desire to cultivate the sacred in my life … because I WANT TO BE TURNED ON TOO!  And this morning she said to me pointedly, "if you say you want a sacred relationship, you have to make it so."

And in that moment I felt like a child rolling my eyes at my mother, because I knew exactly what she meant.  As humans we are always asking for these things we want, things we desire, things we yearn for … but we only do half (or none) of the work to get it … and then we feel let down and disappointed when we don't receive the things we desire.  And this is because, even though our angels and guides are constantly showing us the way, most of us either keep our blinders on and choose to be too caught up in the distractions of life to notice the signs or we see the signs but we don't actually commit to doing the work.  

Cue my guides.  I had been feeling sorry for myself about certain mundane things, and so my guides were like "that's enough wallowing!" ASHLY NEEDS TO TALK TO BLAIR TODAY.  So I ran into my friend Blair  - and she is such an incredibly STRONG and INSPIRING woman - and I have always admired her perseverance and dedication to healing and moving forward, despite the difficult circumstances that have shown up on her path.  And so, we were talking and she said something so powerful to me (without any prompting for spiritual insight on my part) … she said … "you have to be 100% … if you are only committed 90% to Spirit, you aren't showing your FULL trust, you aren't FULLY living in belief, you aren't living FULLY connected."

And when she said that, it hit me like someone slapping me across the face with a ton of bricks - and I felt the power of her words in my heart, because when she said that, I realized, I wasn't living FULLY in my relationship with MYSELF, and as a result, my relationship with everything else. 

You have to commit to yourself.  You have to commit to your desires.  You have to commit to your beliefs.  You have to commit to taking care of your body.  You have to commit to nurturing your spirit.  You have to commit to your personal healing so that you can help others heal.  You. Have. To. Commit.

Now, this revelation shouldn't have been so Earth shattering for me, because I already knew I had commitment issues.  Commitment issues with making plans, with caring for myself, commitment issues with my spirituality.  But when she said it, and how she said it, really made me step back and see my situation differently.  Instead of viewing my commitments as obligations, as I had in the past, I started to see them as OPPORTUNITIES. 

Opportunities to connect to myself and my genius.  To connect with the Divine.  To connect with others.  To connect with something BIGGER than myself.  And when I realized this, I started to see where I had only been giving it 90% (and in all honestly, usually much less than that).

Because, the thing is, YOU CAN'T FULLY CREATE IF YOU DON'T FULLY COMMIT.  Especially as women, if we aren't fully COMMITTED to ourselves, to our bodies, to our spirits, to our expression, we can't fully create and if we can't fully create we can't fully we can't fully share our gifts with the world.  We can't fully experience the joy and pleasure of being alive.  WE CAN'T RECEIVE EVERYTHING WE DESIRE!

For most of us as women, committing fully also usually means healing fully.  Because many of us are carrying around boatloads of pain, karma and trauma (some that is ours but most that belongs to others) that has to be released so that we can see what it feels like to feel fully connected, fully supported, fully ALIVE and TURNED ON BY LIFE.

So you might be saying to yourself, BUT I AM COMMITTING!  I am committing to healing, I am committed to growing, I am committed to Spirit … but I ask you like an annoying mother (or, ahem, my higher self sometimes) are you committed 100%?  Most of us are taking responsibility for 90% of healing but brushing the other 10% under the rug.  I know I certainly have been.  And that 10% can create a lot of chaos in your life. It can keep you in old patterns.  It can keep you in limiting relationships.  It can keep you from manifesting.  It can keep you from healing!  And whatever keeps you from healing keeps you from receiving.

So make a game plan.  Determine what you want to heal (body, body image, sexuality, sensuality, freedom of expression, feeling worthy, abundance issues, etc) … and determine when, where and how you can commit.  How you C A N commit … how you have the OPPORTUNITY to commit … and as a result, how you can allow connection and creation unfurl through you.

I know that I have to connect to my commitments in the morning, each day, otherwise, I won't keep my word to myself.  My commitments include movement, meditation and cultivating my relationship the Divine Feminine in my life.  So I read, I listen to meditations, I stretch, I sit in silence, I dance, I listen and receive guidance that wants to come through.  Those are some of my daily commitments, but I also have a mega commitment to presence and play in my life right now.  So I ask myself?  How can I play more with life?  How can I be more with each moment? How can I combine play and presence to boost my creativity?  How can I play in nature?  How can I play while I work?  How can I play with others? How can I LIGHTEN UP?

Get in touch with your desires and what makes you feel alive because LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN, LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FULL OF JOY, LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE EXPERIENCED THROUGH THE LENS OF PLEASURE.  So these "commitments" shouldn't feel like a drag.  And if they do feel like a drag, ask yourself, why do you really want to do them? Don't do things just because you think you "should" .... Do them because they make you shine.  So go on, get going and create some sacred contracts with yourself Mama, because the world needs you to be turned on.

Ashly Wolf

Ashly is the creator of which seeks to uplift, inspire and educate women about their body, their sensuality, their femininity, their connection to spirit and to help them reclaim their powerful role as women within society. Ashly is also the founder of, where she coaches women on radical self love and guides them towards living a life filled with confidence and desire.