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These are my Core Desired Feelings … and now that I know what they are, I know how to access them, and how to not only feel them each day but actually live from them each day.

But it wasn’t always this way.

For a really long time I struggled not only to know who I was - but what I truly wanted from life - because I had no idea how I actually wanted to feel.    

I based what I wanted to feel on what I thought I “should” feel.  The things I “should” want.  Things that would help me look good, feel good and try to do good ... but in reality, wasn't really doing that much good.

What I had to learn the hard way (and what I want to help you avoid), is that not knowing how you want to feel, who you are or what you want - is a recipe for disaster that can only end in constant self judgment, comparison and deep feelings of unfulfillment.  

Because when we don’t know who we are or what we want - how can we have anyway of showing up authentically in the world to actually live the life we want?

Over the years, it was a long road to discovery with lots of ups and downs - I’d make some progress about feeling good - but then rebound back down into addictions or feeling really stressed out, unfulfilled or incapable - until one day - all of that changed DRAMATICALLY.  And it changed when I found The Desire Map.

When I started to really tune into who I was … and I started to figure out more of who I was by starting to pay attention to what I wanted.  

And then something really amazing happened.  My life went from something that felt out of my control, that just happened to me - to something that I felt I was in the drivers seat of.  Because when I had a way of approaching each day with a solid sense of how I wanted to feel - it made every decision easy.  

What to eat?  What to wear?  What to say?  What to do?  How to feel?  How to act?  Where to go?  What to say yes to?  What to say no to?  What I wanted to prioritize in my life stopped feeling like an obligation and started feeling like a joyful CHOICE that came from my soul.

All my choices started to feel like they were in alignment with who I was.  Each day, I became happier, more confident and solid in my sense of self.

And what I want you to know is - we all have the ability to make these powerful choices that come from our souls desire.

And the way to do it?  Through listening to our desires - and then acting on them.

That’s what The Desire Map can help you do.  Figure out how you want to feel and based on that, take steps (usually quite simple throughout the day) to actually FEEL that way.

So many of many of us set goals based on what we want TO GET instead of HOW WE WANT TO FEEL … and this is why we never actually get the things we want!  But if we truly want to live the life we desire, we have to stop going after the things we want to get (the guy, the raise, the house, the body) and start going after the way we want to feel.

If you are ready to figure out a foolproof system to feel GOOD, if you’re ready to change your life, if you’re ready to really TRULY SAY YES to what you want, then consider The Desire Map the way to do it.

Because I’m curious

1.  How do you feel about your life right now?  and

2.  If you lived a life that felt soulfully and positively good to live, what would that look like in your life?  How would you feel?  What would you do?  How would you show up?  What would be different?  

Please share in the comments below so you can state it aloud and make it real for yourself and so we can support your vision :)

I’d be my honor to support you in creating a life that feels good to live - if you want to SIGN UP or learn more about my upcoming Desire Map Workshop, THE ART OF DESIRE, click here.

And if you're interested, I'm sharing each one of my Core Desired Feelings and what they mean to me below.

Dedicated to your desires,

p l a y f u l this means showing up with a sense of wonder and reverence for the world. not taking myself so seriously.  actually getting out and playing at least a few times a week if not everyday.  for me this means, being silly, swimming, being outside, feeling light hearted, laughing with my girlfriends, playing with my dog at the park … anything that feels like play counts here for me.

V I V A C I O U S for me this means, feeling vibrant, happy, lively, sexy, confident, energetic and spontaneous, saying YES to life, over and over and over again.  from what i wear, to what i eat, to how i play, flirting with the unknown, french kissing life ... it all boils down to feeling ecstatically and vibrantly alive - and that's what vivacious is for me.

wild of course it has to do with my wild, feminine nature - but also just with the fact that as a human being I am an actual animal, that I thrive in nature and need nourishment beyond societies standards of eat this not that.  being in tune with my sensuality, getting outside in sun or snow, breathing in the air, honoring my body, listening to what she needs, skinny dipping, being naked, going without makeup, wearing whatever the F I want, speaking my mind, syncing up with Earth’s cycles, getting dirty - all of these things make me feel wild.

e a s e deep breaths, simplicity, freedom from worry, absence of difficulty, in flow, soul alignment, spaciousness … all of these things make me feel ease.  but ease especially means at work, when I feel stressed, or can't figure something out technically (which happens often as an entrepreneur) I get up and walk away - I shake it off - and when I return to it, I figure out how it can feel easy.  this usually means getting help or reaching out professionally to my colleagues.  i love my business and i love my relationships and i love myself - and if there isn't a sense of ease there - then i know i need to do something to tap back in and lighten up.

SHAKTI the supreme goddess in Hindu mythology, Shakti is the divine feminine force underlying all creation.  she is erotic, sensual, innocent, creative and destructive all at once.  she is all powerful with the abily to manifest all she desires.  she can create physical life but also give life to anything that desires creation (this blog, decorating my new house, adorning myself daily each morning with jewelry, the list goes on an on and on) - and I call on her whenever I, seek pleasure or the desire to feel like the goddess that I am.

embodied really just means in my body.  listening to her, honoring her, feeling her, nourishing her, moving her, breathing her.. strength, softness, self love, personifying the traits that I teach, connecting to and activating my sensual and sexual energy and using it as rocket fuel for my life ... embodiment for me means that i don't hide or leave any parts of myself behind.  i include them all, love them all and openly share with others what embodiment means to me personally and as an empowered woman.

Already know your Core Desired Feelings?  AWESOME!  Share them below so we can all get in on the goodness!  

Ashly Wolf

Ashly is the creator of which seeks to uplift, inspire and educate women about their body, their sensuality, their femininity, their connection to spirit and to help them reclaim their powerful role as women within society. Ashly is also the founder of, where she coaches women on radical self love and guides them towards living a life filled with confidence and desire.