Do you feel like this is you?  That if you ask for what you really want or if you say what’s really on your heart - that you won’t be accepted?  That you need permission just to be you?

The interesting thing about this is - we need to be the one’s to set the tone of speaking our truth and living in alignment with our desires - but so often we feel like we need permission from an external source to do so.

Permission from our lovers, friends, families … but what we don’t realize is that this need for permission is steeped way deeper in our psyche than we could ever imagine.  

Often the need for permission stems from childhood - a fear of disappointing our parents or tribe - andhaving to ask permission to avoid punishment, shame, abuse or abandonment.

And unfortunately - when we grow into women - because we were imprinted negatively and significantly when we were young, we still carry this need to “do the right thing” “say the right thing” or “do what is expected of me”  in order to be accepted - and therefore loved.

And when we have the desire to do something different - something that pushes the boundaries of how other people perceive us to be or how we think other people perceive us to be - we feel like we need permission in order to please them so we don’t rock the boat.  Because when we don’t feel like we won’t be accepted - we feel like we won’t be loved and that sparks a very real and primal fear of being abandoned.  

But being ourselves - and standing firmly in the authority of what we need in order to do so - is ultimately the thing that will lead us back home to our source of self power and knowing - and those are the very things that will give us the strength and confidence to show up without the need for permission or fear of the recourse if we don’t receive it.

Because the thing is - no one can love you the way you can love or accept you the way you can yourself.  No one can be YOU like you can.  And the way you are going to fully love, accept and be yourself - including all the parts of you that fear your desires or your insecurities or imperfections around what you want or who you want to be - is by GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION to want and be those things.

And I get it - it’s scary.   

And … yes, I also know …. you have responsibilities.  The kids, the family, the job, the relationship, the 5 year plan that you’ve already worked so hard towards.  

But let’s get real.  Are those responsibilities really fueling YOU and your divine life purpose on this planet - or are they taking you further away from what you want and who you want to be?

Because sure - this is life and we all have responsibilities - but how backwards are we living when we don’t even prioritize the responsibility we have towards ourselves?   Do you really think that someone or something else deserves your energy more than you do yourself?  

If you do, or you are living like you do, then I’m saying this to you from a fierce place of love: you first and foremost, have a responsibility for YOURSELF.  

And it’s not fair not to show up for yourself.  Not just for you but everyone around you.  So if you aren’t showing up for yourself out of the needs of others just take a moment to realize that you are actually limiting how much you can show up for them (yes your kids and your partners) when you don’t show up for yourself.

So this is it - if you need permission - I’M GIVING IT TO YOU.


You don’t need a reason for it - and you don’t have to prove it to anyone.  

The simple spark of desire within yourself is the only validation you’ll ever need.  And if you need permission to let yourself feel that - I’m giving that to you too.  I’m giving you permission to FEEL what you want to feel and to be who you want to be.

Because that’s all we really want.  To show up, fully as we are, feeling what we feel, without any pretenses or masks - and be told we will still be loved and accepted exactly for who we are and what we want.  

And if your first reaction is that some of the people in your life won’t accept that - then I’ll also be the one to state the hard fact that maybe you need new people.  You have every right to want what you want and to be who you want to be - and no one should tell you otherwise.  You are sacred, you are innocent, you are powerful - and you have full permission do desire whatever you desire. 

If you need help with this - figuring out how you want to feel - and living from a place of responsibility for yourself and your desires, my Desire Map Workshop is in Denver on Sunday November 8 - and it would be my honor in helping you step up for yourself.  

Does this article relate with you?  Do you see where you aren’t showing up for yourself or you are prioritizing everyone else before yourself?  What’s the one thing you know you need to do to change this for yourself?  

You know the answer - you might not want to admit it - but you know it.  

You aren’t alone - share in the comments below so we can support you.  

Fiercely dedicated to your desires,


Ashly Wolf

Ashly is the creator of which seeks to uplift, inspire and educate women about their body, their sensuality, their femininity, their connection to spirit and to help them reclaim their powerful role as women within society. Ashly is also the founder of, where she coaches women on radical self love and guides them towards living a life filled with confidence and desire.